Sunday 25 March 2012

New Blog

Hi :)  I have been toying with the idea of starting my own blog for quite some time.  I have been wanting to this for many reasons.  Firstly, it's a quick and convenient way for me to write down what I am feeling or doing - which is very therapeutic for me!  It's also a nice and easy way to communicate what's happening in my little world with my friends and family.  Hopefully soon I will finally find the time and right resources to set up a blog for my little business Krystabelle Lane so I can also write to my lovely clients!

So, the reason I have finally started this blog today, is so I can share some details of a very special day my family had on Friday...  As you all know, my Daddy very sadly passed away last Saturday on St Patricks day (17.03.12).  I will often talk about him here as we had a very beautiful relationship and I miss him so very much :'(  I have not yet had a full day without tears, but perhaps that day may be tomorrow...  I have already uploaded his photo tribute to YouTube for those who could not make the service, or simply wanted to share in our memories (see below).  I am also going to share his Eulogy, and my tribute to him.  Both of which I wrote last week and were most definitely the hardest things I have ever had to write, but here they are...



Daddy’s Eulogy

 Bryan was born in Inverell NSW on Saturday the 6th of February 1960 to Ruby and Selwyn Austin.  He was a little brother to Clyde, Lynne and Lawrence and was soon followed by Pam, Jo, Rodney and Ray.  Between the 8 of them they were often getting up to mischief!  They grew up in Toowoomba where he attended school, and he fondly became known as Steve thanks to the popular TV show starring Steve Austin the 6 million dollar man.  Steve joined the army as an apprentice in 1976, because in his words, he just wanted to blow stuff up!  His youth got the better of him and 2 years later he was discharged from the army and became a brickies labourer.  It was at this time in 1978 that he first met Joanie.  Their son Geoffrey was soon to follow, born in April 1980.  Steve and Joanie met each other via CB radio, where he was known as the Midnight Flasher.  Shortly after meeting he fell ill and was diagnosed with a terminal blood disease, at the age of just 18.  Steve struggled with this news but as we all know, he went on to fight a great fight. 

He met his wife of 18 years Laurine in 1979 and they fell pregnant with their first child Jason who was born in December 1980.  They married in 1981 and soon moved to Brisbane.  In 1982 Steve joined Brittanica – an international sales company selling encyclopaedias across the nation.  During his 10 years with the company he received many accolades and rewards including the opportunity to travel overseas numerous times, which he absolutely loved.  On Steve and Laurine’s first overseas holiday they found out the news that they were expecting another baby, and their daughter Krystal was soon born in June 1985.  5 years later they would be blessed with another little girl, with Cassandra arriving in May 1990.  In 1992 Steve left Britannica and they opted for a sea change moving to Hervey Bay.  They raised their family by the beach and Steve would often take the kids fishing or on picnics to Dayman Park.  Between 1993 and 1996 Steve and Laurine managed the local bowling centre where they met many new friends, including Tony and Margaret Moss.  Steve’s health had begun to deteriorate due to his illness and he was often unwell tackling everything from shingles to septicaemia.  It was time for him to stop working and he soon became Mr Mum around the house!  In 1997, 18 years after being terminally diagnosed Steve nearly lost his battle with his blood disease and spent time in intensive care in Maryborough.  In his true form he pulled through and people started to think he was invincible – a bit like superman.  In 1999 Steve and Laurine ended their relationship but remained friends.  They made a huge effort to keep their family unit as it always had been, for the sake of their children and their friendship.  At this time, Tony and Margaret took Steve under their wing while he sorted out a new life of his own.  Their children Tammy, Tony, Corinna and Rebecca also grew very fond of Steve and they all considered him part of their family.  In the year 2000 he moved into his own flat in Totness Street and soon completed a computer course at the local Tafe.  He went on to be a self taught web designer and established his own small home business called Boxatrix.  He met many new friends via this venture, some of which are here today. 
In 2004  Steve and Joanie rekindled the friendship they had 25 years earlier.  Joanie soon moved to Hervey Bay from NSW and their relationship grew.  They enjoyed going for walks on the beach and having a nice meal at the local club.  He soon fell in love not only with Joanie but also with her family.  Their new found happiness would soon been dampened by the news that Steve was to be diagnosed with a second terminal illness – completely unrelated to his blood disease, and one with no known cause and sadly, no cure.  It was a horrible non discriminating lung disease called Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis.  It would soon test Steve’s strength more than ever.  When diagnosed in 2005 he was told that his life expectancy due to this disease would be 2- 5 years.  He was placed on the transplant list for a new set of lungs and between frequent trips to Brisbane hospitals with Joanie he worked hard to get his fitness, and mindset, where it needed to be, to be able to have the life saving surgery required.  In 2006 his last baby came along – a little furry white puppy called Sushi!  Sushi and Steve became inseparable.  They shared a special bond and after Steve and Joanie moved into their new home together she would always be found by his side, if not in his lap!  She provided him comfort when he was on his own and in return he showered her with love. 
Unfortunately in 2007 Steve had to be removed from the transplant list.  His body was now too weak and his complications too many that they advised he would no longer be a suitable candidate for surgery.   He did not give up though.  He continued to stay strong, ALWAYS having a positive outlook and keeping his attitude towards life in check.  He would not go without a fight and he would not go complaining or feeling sorry for himself…  Steve was a very proud and courageous man and that could been seen by all.  It wasn’t uncommon for Steve to feel there were more deserving or needy people than him, despite his circumstances.  He always took comfort in knowing he had a wonderful support group right by his side in his friends, children and most of all Joanie. 
I truly believe Steve knows how much he was loved and in return made it known how much he loved others.  The last couple of years of life were quite limited for Steve, physically.  Although he continued to work on computers and websites, he was often in and out of hospital and unfortunately had to endure many ‘tough’ days.  He continually amazed doctors and specialists with his strength and determination – they couldn’t believe the battle he was fighting.  It was not easy though, in fact it was harder than one could imagine.  Every breath was a struggle, every step was a marathon.  All the while he would grin his cheeky smile and tell everyone he was as ‘good as gold’.   He soon became bound to a wheelchair and in the end his bed.  Steve hated hospitals – he always had!  The only thing he enjoyed about them was stirring the nurses!  So, as his body started to fail, his wish was to see his final days through at home.  This wish, albeit a sad one, was granted thanks to the care, patience, determination and most of all the love displayed by his dear partner Joanie, his daughter Krystal and many other friends and family who would come by to lend a helping hand, call for a chat or simply sit with Steve for company.  He sincerely appreciated each and every one of your gestures, kind words of support and loving thoughts.  Nearly 7 years after been diagnosed with his lung disease, on Saturday the 17th March at 52 years of age, Steve took his final breaths and slipped away peacefully at home.  He is finally at peace.  He can finally breathe easy and have a rest…


 





Daddy’s Tribute
 My Daddy, Steve Austin, was my hero.    This week I have been torn as to whether or not I should try and read something here today, and in the end I decided I could not let this special day pass without telling you all how much my hero means to me and sharing the special relationship we had.  I could not let today go by without reminding him how much I love him and how thankful I am that he was my Dad.  So, please bare with me and I will do my best to get through this. 
Firstly, I want to thank everyone for coming, on behalf of my family and Joanie.  I am very humbled, though not surprised, to see so many faces here today.  I know he is watching us and he would be overwhelmed by your support – so thank you.  My Daddy meant something different to each of us.  A friend, a brother, an uncle, a partner, a father.  To me he was my Dad: my hero, my mentor, and my friend.  Occasionally we are very blessed to have a special bond with someone.  Someone we can turn to for anything – and to me that someone was him.  I can’t even begin to explain how much he will be missed.
In 1960 the year Dad was born, many other great things happened. The pacemaker was invented, the Flintstones aired on TV for the first time, and Muhammad Ali won his first fight.  Ali was quoted to say ‘live every day as if it were your last because some day you are going to be right’.  And how true that is...   He also said ‘don’t count the days, but make the days count’ and I believe this is what our Daddy did.  He was not only my father, but to that of my sister Cassie, brother Jason and half brother Geoffrey and much of the admiration I have for him, I’m sure could be expressed by all of us.  Unlike some of you here today, I didn’t know him while he was growing up.  He was 25 years old by the time I came along.  But I will be forever thankful that I got to live some of his younger days through his stories.  He LOVED to tell stories of his childhood.  He loved to tell us about the adventures he had with his brothers and sisters growing up.  I remember Uncle Jo coming to visit and my cousin Kylie and I would sit there giggling and rolling our eyes because we were hearing the same story for the 20th time!  But honestly, I am so grateful for that now.
I have so many special memories of growing up and of my Daddy.  Too many to mention them all here and now, but some that I would love to share with you.  My brother, sister and I had a great childhood thanks to Dad and our Mum, Laurine.  Together they instilled some important beliefs and morals. As a family we created our own memories – special moments in time that can never be taken away.  I will always remember our time together as a family bonding, as well as having special one on one time with each other.  Something I now know is so important. We spent a lot of time at the beach and this is where so many memories come to life for me.  I remember running through the soldier crabs together, me and Cassie screaming and Dad laughing hysterically. I remember climbing down to the sandbars to pump yabbies and standing out on the pier in the sunshine, him teaching me how to bait a hook and cast a line. I remember having our family Olympics on the beach where he would make sure we would all win a prize even me with very little athletic ability!  At home I remember having family meetings around the table and always having to eat dinner together – no tv, just each other.  I remember reading together, cooking together and building cubbies out of chairs and sheets in the lounge room together.
 Another memory I will have forever, which I’m still not 100% sure if it was for our own good, or for his own entertainment, was the punishment Dad gave my brother and I if we were fighting.  There would be no smacking from him.  Instead he made Jason and I sit on the couch and hold hands with each other.  And if that wasn’t bad enough sitting there with the person you despised more than anything right in that moment, we then had to look each other in the eye and give each other a compliment!  For any of you that have younger children – you should give it a go! To not only forgive, but to also recognise the good in someone through bad times is a beautiful lesson to have been taught.
My Daddy was by far the funniest person I have ever known.  He has a unique sense of humour, one that could always make you smile.  And if it wasn’t something he said, it was a face he would pull. No one could light up a room faster than him.  He radiated happiness and encouraged laughter everywhere he went.  He taught us to always look on the bright side of life and to have a sense of humour about everything, no matter how sad, because life is too short. 
Dad would often pretend to be superman all of a sudden appearing in doorways with his hands on his hips like he had just flown down to see us.  In time it became more apparent that he really was our superman.  No matter what was thrown at him he would overcome it with great strength and determination and move on to the next challenge.  He would look up to the sky and say: c’mon, is that all you’ve got!’.  I have no doubt that much of the way he held himself together was purely for the sake of others.  He never wanted to cause anyone any worry or sadness.  Even in his final days when his body was failing him he would still look into our eyes and apologise – for something he had absolutely no control over.  I am very lucky that I have never doubted for a moment how much Daddy loved me.  As we grow older and become adults ourselves, sometimes things change.  Although we generally become less dependent on our parents, some people’s relationships continue to grow closer.  I was very lucky to have always remained Daddy’s little girl with a bond stronger than ever as time went on.  Dad would never hang up the phone without saying I love you and he would even ring and leave voicemails singing me songs to let me know he had just called to say he loved me.  That is something I am so grateful for and that I will always cherish.  I am very confident he knows how much not only I, but all of us here today, loved him.  If our love alone could have saved him, he would still be here right now.
One of the many sad things to come, is that my future children will never meet their Grandad. Particularly in his later years, Dad loved babies.  This is just one of life’s special moments we will now be unable to share together.  However, I take great comfort in knowing that he shared many smiles and giggles with Joanie’s grandson Cooper.  A memory that will never leave me from the day before he passed away was when baby Cooper came to visit.  As soon as Dad saw him his eyes lit up and a huge smile spread across his face.  And Cooper wasn’t the only child that brought Dad great happiness – to the people here that call my Dad Uncle Steve, your children lit up his life too.  So thank you. 
Apart from being strong, courageous, funny and loving, Daddy was the wisest man I have ever met.  There were a few amazing quotes that he would regularly refer to.  Firstly, he lived and breathed the Austin motto: Ne Quid Nimus.  It means nothing in excess, everything in moderation.  Next he taught me not to worry about the things I cannot change.  And finally when things were tough he would remind me that this too shall pass.  I have been thinking about these three things a lot over the past few days and they are all so relevant during this hard time. 
He would not want us crying uncontrollably over our loss as it cannot be changed.  He would be telling us that things will get better, a little easier perhaps.  Not our feelings of missing him, or wanting to see him again but the heavy sadness and feelings of overwhelming grief that we hold in our hearts today – this too shall pass.  And although he would understand that we need to grieve, he would want that grief balanced with celebration – everything in moderation. 
It was no secret that our daddy was sick.  He fought hard and courageously for so long.  It still didn’t make it any easier the day he left.  His final days were hard not only for those of us around him, but for himself.  I know he found it hard to concede to his weakening body.  The man that was always giving, supporting and being there to lean on, now had to receive from others and depend on them.  This was very hard for him, but he did it with grace, pride and eternal appreciation. 
There is someone here that has been an angel without wings for many years, and that is dad’s partner Joanie.  Joan, I will be eternally grateful not only for all you have done for my Daddy, but for all you have given of yourself particularly over the last 5 years.  You should take great pride in knowing that you selflessly did everything in your power to keep him safe, happy, cared for and comfortable for such a long time.  A task that is no easy feat and one that you never asked for anything in return.  And I thank you so much for that.
Dad said for many years that when his time came he would leave us on a special day that we would always remember, so I guess it should be no surprise that he left last Saturday on St Patricks Day.  I sat with him that day after he had passed, holding his hand waiting for him to be taken away.  I didn’t want them to take him but then I realised that although his body was gone, his spirit will still live on in all of our hearts.  I desperately prayed throughout the last few weeks that when his time came he would float up to heaven peacefully.  I hope you all find comfort in knowing that this is how he went.  I am so thankful that he is no longer struggling to breathe or fight off pain, but I will never stop missing him.  His bravery will never be forgotten and his legacy will live on.  He will continue to be an inspiration throughout the rest of my life.  I am so lucky to call him MY Daddy and am so proud of the man he was.  My hero is now an angel.  He has well and truly earnt his wings and now he can fly freely, breathe easily and rest peacefully.
Daddy, you will be forever in my heart and forever missed... xx




So yesterday marked a week that my world came crashing down... A week ago I saw him for the last time, felt the soft skin on his funny fingers for the last time, and held his hand for the very last time...  A week ago yesterday he was gone :'(   I don't ever remember going a week without talking to him. I miss him and I love him so so much ♥